How is this printed and shipped?

Every BoomerProud item is printed to order through our US-based fulfillment partner. Production takes 2-5 business days, then it ships straight to you — nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing goes to waste.

What's the return policy?

If something arrives wrong or damaged, we'll make it right within 30 days. Because items are made to order we can't accept change-of-mind returns once production starts, so double-check your size.

How do the sizes run?

Our tees and hoodies are classic unisex fits on heavyweight cotton. If you're between sizes or want a roomier fit, size up.

1. Pick a color — White

2. Pick your size

3. How many?

Made to order in 2-5 business days. Wrong size or a printing problem? We'll make it right within 30 days.

T-Shirt · Retirement Life

“My 401(k) Is a Lawn Mower: Running on Fumes and Wishful Thinking.”

$34.99

Want it on something else?

• Premium 100% ringspun cotton, soft and durable • High-quality full-color direct-to-garment printing • Design features bold dark green and deep red typography with subtle mechanical illustration • Comfortable fit suitable for all-day wear • True colors won't fade after multiple washes • Perfect for the Boomer who's seen the stock market roller coaster one too many times • Also available on hoodies and mugs

100% heavyweight American cotton

Thick, durable, and built to last. No flimsy fabrics here.

Pre-shrunk for a perfect fit

Wash it, dry it, wear it. Fits like a glove from day one.

Printed in the USA

Quality controlled right here at home. Supporting local craftsmen.

About this design

This design perfectly captures the existential dread of watching your 401(k) evaporate like morning dew on a patch of crabgrass. The lawn mower breaks down just when you need it most—much like your retirement plan. Dark green and maroon lettering frame an illustration of wrenches and gears, a subtle nod to the constant maintenance required to keep dreams of leisure alive. Whether you're spending your golden years fixing equipment or your equity portfolio, this shirt speaks to the beautiful chaos of Boomer financial reality. Perfect for guys who spent forty years building something only to watch it sputter and stall. It's not pessimism; it's just being well-acquainted with how things actually work.

Frequently asked questions

How is this printed and shipped?: Every BoomerProud item is printed to order through our US-based fulfillment partner. Production takes 2-5 business days, then it ships straight to you — nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing goes to waste.
What's the return policy?: If something arrives wrong or damaged, we'll make it right within 30 days. Because items are made to order we can't accept change-of-mind returns once production starts, so double-check your size.
How do the sizes run?: Our tees and hoodies are classic unisex fits on heavyweight cotton. If you're between sizes or want a roomier fit, size up.

See all designs →