How is this printed and shipped?

Every BoomerProud item is printed to order through our US-based fulfillment partner. Production takes 2-5 business days, then it ships straight to you — nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing goes to waste.

What's the return policy?

If something arrives wrong or damaged, we'll make it right within 30 days. Because items are made to order we can't accept change-of-mind returns once production starts, so double-check your size.

How do the sizes run?

Our tees and hoodies are classic unisex fits on heavyweight cotton. If you're between sizes or want a roomier fit, size up.

1. Pick a color — White

2. Pick your size

3. How many?

Made to order in 2-5 business days. Wrong size or a printing problem? We'll make it right within 30 days.

T-Shirt · Retirement Life

“My 401(k) Is a Lawnmower – And It's Still Running on Vapor.”

$34.99

Want it on something else?

• Premium 100% cotton construction for comfort and durability • High-resolution direct-to-garment print for vibrant, long-lasting colors • Illustrated lawnmower with detailed dollar-sign smoke effect • Bold, readable typography with distressed secondary text • Unisex fit; available in sizes XS–3XL • Screen-printed or DTG options for maximum color vibrancy • Perfect for boomers who've watched their 401(k) disappear into thin air

100% heavyweight American cotton

Thick, durable, and built to last. No flimsy fabrics here.

Pre-shrunk for a perfect fit

Wash it, dry it, wear it. Fits like a glove from day one.

Printed in the USA

Quality controlled right here at home. Supporting local craftsmen.

About this design

Your 401(k) is basically a high-powered lawnmower at this point—lots of noise, lots of moving parts, and somehow still running on nothing but hot air. This design is for anyone who's watched their retirement savings evaporate faster than a puddle on the driveway in July. Bold, illustrated humor that captures the real anxieties (and dark comedy) of navigating the stock market as a Boomer. Wear it to your financial advisor meeting. Wear it to the country club. Make them uncomfortable. That's what we do.

Frequently asked questions

How is this printed and shipped?: Every BoomerProud item is printed to order through our US-based fulfillment partner. Production takes 2-5 business days, then it ships straight to you — nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing goes to waste.
What's the return policy?: If something arrives wrong or damaged, we'll make it right within 30 days. Because items are made to order we can't accept change-of-mind returns once production starts, so double-check your size.
How do the sizes run?: Our tees and hoodies are classic unisex fits on heavyweight cotton. If you're between sizes or want a roomier fit, size up.

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